What would you do
If this was your final breath
And you had seconds left
And you knew?
Would you protest
Eyes wide with fear and regret?
Would you clutch salvation
With your calloused prayers?
Or would you remember
The breath of a kiss against your ear
And your child’s trusting hand
Me, I would hold my breath
So I could throw down these lines
And give you this scrap of paper
To carry in your pocket.
One day I’ll write my final lines
Because to write will hurt too much.
One day I’ll read my final verse
Because the pain will be too much.
One day I’ll say my last goodbye
Because I cannot bear the touch.
I already stopped listening to music
Because it hurts so much.
One day I will not feel the yearning
Because I’ll never earn that much.
I will not listen to those sermons
Because the love will be too much.
One day I will not feel the burning
Because it all feels cold to touch.
One day I will not feel like giving,
One day, when it will hurt too much.
And soon, I’ll cease to reminisce
Because the memories are bitter.
And soon, I’ll cease to take the pills
Because they do not make them sweeter.
And soon I’ll cease to take those calls –
Because I do not need their idle chatter.
And soon I’ll cease to have regrets –
I’ll know there’s always something better.
And I will keep on walking down the lonely road
Whether on my own or with another.
And I will shed a moment’s tear when they’re gone
Be it friend or foe or just my lover.
I’ll keep on losing everything I’ve earned
My pockets and my hands are full of holes
One day I’ll give up on my broken body
To salvage something of my soul.
But as long as you are here
I will write down my songs for you.
If you can just ignore my tears
I’ll read my lines out loud to you.
If you just promise to return
I’ll say those long goodbyes to you.
As long as you keep holding me
The hurt will feel so sweet with you.
– O –